Pick Somebody Up

I just love this song. Take it to heart, people!

What I'm doing with my free time

I've got some free time on my hands. See, I'm currently unemployed. Sometimes it's great. Sleeping in! No responsibilities! Not having to jam myself on the train at rush hour! Sometimes it's not so great. No income! Boredom! It's like a vacation, but without the fun and friends and funds for which to pay for it.

But I'm still committed to being a good human. So, here, in convenient bullet format, is what I'm doing with myself:

• I take my magazines to the dialysis center nearby. I've been told that dialysis is quite time consuming, so who wouldn't want to kick back with a nice Us Weekly or Mother Jones while a machine filters their blood for them? I like the idea of getting multiple uses out of something before recycling it. (Yes, both of those subscriptions were gifts. I really, really love one of them. Guess which one.)


• I'm taking fewer showers. And therefore using less water. TMI?


• I'm keeping my heat as low as possible, while (barely) avoiding frostbite. I'm trying to make a game out of it, like every degree I can stand to lower it is a point for me. I was sick last week and lost a bunch of points though. :(
  


• I go to the library instead of the bookstore. Again with the reusing thing.
  


• I talk to my family more. I chatted with my gram for over an hour the other day and I could tell that it totally made her day. St. Joseph is being very sluggish with selling their house, btw.
  


• I'm reading a lot more blogs. Right now I'm totally crushing on Daily Mitzvah, Menstrual Poetry, MMM Brains!, Muslim Hedonist, No Impact Man, Shakesville, Stickpaste, The Curvature, Well-Heeled, and Where It Stands, just to name a few.


• I'm able to devote more time to the RAINN Online Hotline. Have you been sexually assaulted and don't know how to deal? Not sure about what happened to you? Still feeling anxious even though it was a while ago and you "should" be over it by now? Chat with a trained volunteer (like me!) securely and anonymously.
  

Do you have any ideas? I've got plenty of time to implement them! Leave 'em in the comments or email me at beagoodhuman11 at gmail dot com.

Wherefore the hot wife?

I stumbled upon this Slate article from 2005. (Though I did not StumbleUpon it, actually.) It discusses the phenomenon in teevee sitcoms known as "fat guy, hot wife." Writer Matt Feeney points out sitcom couple after couple that are "ill-matched looks-wise." These couples had a lot of other endearing little quirks in common. "In addition to their girth, a signal characteristic of these men is immaturity. Most of them are unable to master the simplest daily tasks." Oh, and the women have no real discernible personality or value besides being the hot wife that graciously puts up with her clumsy husband's antics. Having never really watched the shows mentioned, I skipped down to what appeared at first to be a pretty spot-on explanation:

"It's tempting to register a feminist complaint about the message these shows convey—that they perpetuate the view that women shouldn't expect autonomy or fulfillment in romance and marriage. They do, after all, play to a certain male fantasy: living the gluttonous, irresponsible, self-absorbed life of an infant and basking in the unconditional love of a good-looking woman."

But alas, that's not it at all. As Feeney explains, the reason these incongruous pairings are so common is because women watch sitcoms, too!

"In portraying husbands as lousy parents, marginal breadwinners, and repellant sexual partners, the fat-husband sitcoms convey a persecution fantasy"

That's right! Women want to be saddled with an irresponsible, lazy, all around jackass of a husband to satisfy our persecution fantasies. Ugh.

Now, that's not even the worst of it for me. Men are given a pass to be overweight, sloppy, crude, etc, whereas the women are relegated to playing the stunningly beautiful martyr, bravely putting up with the slovenly man she loves. Why aren't women allowed to be unattractive assholes? Is that not acceptable for television?

Thank you, Anonymous Googler

I didn't know that my blog would come up first if you search, "bloody human toss," but now I do. And I think I'm better for it. Sorry you didn't get what you were looking for. Better luck next time.

Talking to myself

I'm 22, just a babe really. Or so I like to think. Sometimes I get caught in a moment where I remember something from years ago and then think, I can't believe I even have memories from years ago! I recently got my high school's newsletter in the mail, complete with donation request. First, I'm just incredulous that I graduated 4 and 1/2 years ago and second, they must be crazy to ask me for money fresh out of college. I don't even know how they found my address, but anyway.

I started thinking of everyone I used to know. It was really weird. Then remembered how NOT a good human I was. Ugh! High school girls are such bitches and I was no exception. And so if I could talk to my 17 year old self, this is what I would say:

• Dump him. You're way better and he's dragging you down. I promise you'll find someone awesome in a couple years.


• Also, the way you dumped that kid sophomore year was entirely too harsh, bordering on cruel. On his birthday? In front of all his friends? BITCH! (But ohhhhh so satisfyingly funny. He was pretty creepy.)

• Remember how you sometimes felt the need to bust your ass to get an A when a B would've been just fine? SUCH A WASTE OF TIME. You'll make the same mistake in college. You'll know by then that your GPA is pointless, but that's not going to stop you.
  

• Lay off the fucking partying! Christ! What are you even trying to prove?


• Just kidding. You're not hurting anyone. In fact, you still look back on your 17th birthday with furtive exhilaration.


• I totally can't believe you got away with writing that in the yearbook! Also, he gets fired anyway.


• Take a good look around. You'll be back exactly twice after you go off to school and if you ever think about giving up and coming home, this is where you'll probably end up. We both know you can do better.


• Your sister turns out way hotter than you. Sorry, but if you think you're jealous of all the attention she gets now, you're definitely in for it later.

• Swimming in the lake turns out to be way more fun wearing all your clothes than anybody thought. You'll regret that you didn't do it enough.

• Stop ignoring all your friends when you get a boyfriend. It's a really shitty thing to do and they WILL get mad about it.
  


• Some people will always be douchebags. You don't have be.

Why I love Keith Olbermann

Found this via YBNBY. It's over 8 minutes long, but soooo worth it.

Bloody rant

(Note: I edited this post on 11/30. I need to remember not to blog angry!)

Ok so back in the beginning of the month, I decided to organize an office blood drive. I called the NY Blood Center and set up a time and place. I then asked around my office to see if anyone would be interested. Turns out, no one was.

Then one person said she'd donate with me. Hooray! I happily made the appointments for this Friday. Only, 3 weeks later, now she's sick and on antibiotics. That's a blood donation no-no. So now it's only me again.

Today my boss decides that we should have a brainstorming lunch meeting on Friday and the exact time I'm scheduled to give blood. Dunno what to do. Skip lunch or skip donation?

You can't give away what you don't have

I'm trying to be a good human. I'm really trying to be nicer to people, volunteer my time, give notice to worthy causes, be less of wastoid, etc. I wrote last month about the things that inhibit me the most in my quest, but I left out the giant elephant in the room: money. I'm going to deviate from my normal blogging topics because money is an overarching theme in the lives of those who don't have it.

I don't have a lot of money. My boyfriend and I live in a very expensive city and almost 1/2 of our income goes directly to rent. We also have a combined $50k in student loan debt, of which I carry the majority. That's a lot.

Last year the bf consolidated his $20k student loan debt and chose a graduated repayment plan. Big mistake. Sure, his payments for the first 2 years are about $100 cheaper than they would be if he just chose a level repayment, but his payments are pretty much all interest, as in, he's making almost no dent in the principal balance. It kind of feels like treading water, he keeps paying, but the balance doesn't ever seem to go down.

Now on my end, I just consolidated my loans, something I really didn't want to do. I didn't want to stretch out the repayment term because I know that doing so adds thousands more in interest. Plus, the interest rates are astronomical right now! But I really didn't have a choice because I can't afford the monthly payments otherwise. So I consolidated at 6.75%, and now I'm stuck with it. Even though as the economy continues to tank, the rates will drop, but I won't be able to re-consolidate at a lower rate. This is one serious flaw with the Federal student loan system and it shackles so many college grads with unnecessary interest debt. Not cool!

In the end, I decided to go with Bank of America over Sallie Mae for my consolidation. I guess there was some change in the law (of course I'm fuzzy on the details, I'm only one of thousands being affected by it!) so that many lenders are no longer offering a 1% interest rate reduction after 36 consecutive on-time payments. B of A still offers this, along with .25% interest rate reduction for enrolling in direct deposit, both of which I'm going to take advantage to the fullest. And yet, I'll be 42 at the end of my loan term.

I know in the greater context of the world, my student loan debt isn't such an atrocity. However, shelling out $300+/month to pay for my admittedly mediocre state school education when I could be putting that to better use at the food kitchen or sponsoring some kid in Africa or sending presents to brighten my little sister's day, well it really kind of sucks. If there were ever a topic to get this generation off their keisters and write their representatives in Congress, this just might be it.

Here are some things I could do with $300/month instead of pay back this damn loan:
1) Donate a laptop.
2) Save for 3 or 4 months and get a damn couch.
3) Sponsor 12 poor kids.
4) Leave a HUGE tip the next time I get my nails done.
5) Save it, so my little sister won't have the same headaches later on.